


Heartbeats in Half Time

by booabug (allthisink)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/F, F/M, I can make it lil brudder, Julerose June, Ladrien June, Marichat May, a single tangential chapter of adrinette, because apparently I can't write anything without adrinette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-22 19:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11387028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthisink/pseuds/booabug
Summary: While Itry to do Ladynoir Julyactually (started) in July, I also attempt to do three past month prompt challenges! Originally, I was going to do the full months, but I've ended up deciding to do just 15. Title has been changed to reflect this, and I like the new one better anyway. After the first three days, they're decided by random number generator; but I kept getting duplicates, so those five are wildcards where I either choose or roll for a day. Prompt months and tone summary:Julerose June:Fluff. It's just fluff, honestly.Ladrien June:Things kinda suck sometimes, but at least I have you.Marichat May:Help my parents and I have adopted my partner.





	1. Julerose: The Beginning - Ladrien: Comme Il Faut - Marichat: Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ＩＴ ＢＥＧＩＮＳ**
> 
>  
> 
> _At the time of publishing, the fandom is currently undergoing a two week protest called the **[ML Content Creator Blackout.](https://miraculousblackout.tumblr.com/info)** While I'm not participating, I do want to draw attention to it. Please be aware of how damaging art/fic theft can be and be respectful of creators: do not repost or use their work, and do not like or share fanwork posts that don’t seem to be by the original creator._
> 
>  
> 
> [Crossposted on Tumblr](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/162543861538/)

### Julerose: The Beginning

Rose rearranged her pens and pencil on the desk again. Then looked at them thoughtfully and put them back like they were. Her legs kicked idly under the table. The first day of the first year of collège. She looked around the still half-empty homeroom, seats in the back already claimed. Rose wasn’t the only one looking.

A girl in an overly large hoodie and jeans, both black, scanned those seats as if she could will someone to give up their place, before slumping her shoulders, frozen in place, eyes darting from empty seat to empty seat. Rose waved her over gleefully.

The girl gazed at her momentarily before a smile overtook her face and she sat down next to Rose, arms crossed on the desk top in front of her, hunching over then. Rose leaned her head down so it almost lay on the desk and looked at the girl through the long black hair draping her face, her smile already gone. Rose grinned up at her.

“Hi, I’m Rose! What’s your name?”

“I’m, uh, Juleka,” she mumbled.

“Sorry? I didn’t catch that.”

“J-Juleka,” she said, a little louder.

Rose tackled her side in a hug. “Hi Juleka! I hope we can be friends.”

“Oh. Hi. Yeah, that’d… That’d be cool.” Rose looked up to see Juleka smiling again through her veil of hair.

 

### Ladrien: Comme Il Faut

It was pure coincidence, really. Either good luck or terrible luck, depending on who you asked. Ladybug would nod her head vigorously enough at “good luck” that it could be called vibrating. Adrien, on the other hand, counted being caught clutching to the window he didn’t know was unlatched with just the toes of one shoe barely on the floor of his room by the love of his life in broad daylight pretty terrible luck.

Sure, it meant he wouldn’t fall and break his neck, but that felt preferable.

He changed his mind when she swooped into his room, carrying him in by the waist with her. “Are you alright?”  
  
Adrien, keenly aware of her arm still around his waist, took a moment to register that this was the part where he said something in response to a question so that his staring could be taken as giving due attention rather than being creepy. “I’m perfectly fine! Thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. A pause. “… Should I ask?”

“... Please don’t.”

Ladybug giggled into a hand, withdrawing her arm around him, and he cleared his throat, putting his hands behind his back. “If you didn’t tell anyone about that, that would nice too. I don’t really know what people would make of it, but they’d make something of it.”

“Oh, of course. I know exactly what you mean.”

Adrien gave her a crooked smile. “The perks of being a public figure, right?”

“Right, a proper, dignified one. Real role model for exactly how you should be,” Ladybug smiled back weakly. She looked around and sighed. “One who should get going in case someone saw and might get the wrong idea about me hanging around a boy’s room.”

He wouldn’t have been surprised if she had swung away with a goodbye over her shoulder right then and there, but she just tapped at her yo-yo. He stared at things that weren’t her. Behind his back, he tracked the circle of his ring and sighed. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

Ladybug pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s such a headache.”

Adrien sucked in a breath, rubbing at his ring. “You know, that window’s always unlatched, if you want to visit.”

Ladybug gaped at him. Adrien’s heart pounded, eyes wide as he went on, hands flying out to gesture between the two of them, “To talk to someone who gets it! That is, if you have the time or inclination. Don’t feel obligated, of course! Just a thought.”

“No, yeah! That’s a great idea. I… Will be seeing you,” Ladybug pointed at him, squinting as she backed away.

Adrien did not know if what was happening was real. He very much hoped this was real. “Great!”

“Cool!” Ladybug chirped, loosening her yo-yo. She bounced on the heels of her feet in an oddly familiar gesture, and he heard a high pitched sound he supposed was the window creaking. She suddenly stood stiff as a board before hooking her yo-yo to something and smiling at him in a way he could only describe as radiant. “Bye, handsome.”

Just like that, she was gone.

But she had been here. Ladybug had been in his room. Ladybug had accepted his offer to visit.

“Kid?”

Ladybug called him handsome.

“I’m going to have to hear you go ga-ga over her even more now, aren’t I?” Plagg crossed his arms.

Adrien pulled his shirt over his head and started giggling.

 

### Marichat: Milk

The two of them did individual patrols and appearances whenever they had time, or an emergency came up. To Marinette, it seemed the previous was most true for her partner. She wondered just how much free time he had. She saw him all the time. She didn’t mind, either. It was good to know one of them was out and about. At least when it wasn’t reckless for him to.

She knew for a terrifying fact that his supersuit didn’t protect him from the cold, yet there he was giving a jaunty salute to a child and guardian waving at him as they left the park near her home. In a snowstorm. “Chat Noir!”

He turned and grinned. “Marinette! How is my favourite and only one-time temporary partner?”

“Cold!” She exclaimed, tromping her way over. She didn’t miss the slight shiver in his frame. “Like you must be! What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, you know, the snow just looked so beautiful, and the air seemed so crisp- whoa! What- Where are we going?” He asked, nearly tripping as the shorter girl grabbed the crook of his arm and began leading him.

“Home. Well, my home. I don’t know where your home is, but it’s probably farther.”

“Now, I don’t just go home with every girl I see, but I suppose I can make an exception in your case.”

“And I’m honored, but save the lines for after you’re warmed up, catsonova.”

He sounded slightly breathless as he responded, “Right now, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth.”

She supposed it would have been smarter to take the residential door, but _someone_ hadn’t supposed it would be smarter to _not_ stand around in the cold and get hypothermia. So bakery door it was. Marinette shouldered her way in.

“Hey honey! Wh- Is that Chat Noir?”

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Du- Tom. Tom and Sabine… of Tom and Sabine’s Patisserie and Boulangerie! And customers!”

“Ohmygosh, that’s Chat Noir.”

“Does he live here? What’s going on?”

Marinette covered her face and tried to think of the ramifications of her actions _on behalf of her stupid partner_ later. Right now, she dragged him up two flights of stairs, noticing and not really caring that he was stumbling over them. Finally, she roughly sat him down in a stool at the kitchenette.

Chat whistled casually and looked around. “So… your house is nice.”

“And warm,” Marinette snapped, glaring at him from the fridge door.

“It is warm,” he said with a goofy smile. “It smells nice.”

Marinette was about to wipe that stupid smile off his stupid face when her mom came upstairs with a platter of cookies. “Chat Noir! It’s so good to have one of the heroes of Paris here,” Sabine hefted the platter for emphasis. “Fresh from the oven. I can’t thank you enough for the times you and Ladybug have been here during attacks.”

“Thank you! I love cookies, and it is my honor, madame, all in-”

Apparently no one was getting the note that Chat had been a very dumb cat who should be scolded and not given cookies. “One of the heroes of Paris,” Marinette muttered darkly to herself, heating up milk for Chat. “You always have one of the heroes of Paris here, why is he so special?”

Marinette turned to set down the mug of hot milk on the counter, only to see Chat with crumbs all over his suit from devouring his cookies as he waved bye to her mother, going back downstairs. He turned to smile at her with such a soft, contented expression she had never seen before, she couldn’t muster any vitriol for giving her such a scare. She sighed, “Drink your milk.”

Chat quirked his head to the side. “Is something wrong, Marinette?”

“Nothing, just… You’re so reckless. In fights, I get it, you do whatever you have to do to beat the akuma, but I don’t ever want to see you freezing to death out there for no reason.”

Chat’s eyes widened momentarily, before he looked down at his mug, ears drooping as he did. He fiddled with the mug. “Look, I won’t get into it, but there _was_ a reason. I just-”

“CROISSANTS!” Tom boomed, sauntering into the room. Chat perked up immediately. Marinette put her face in her hands.

That was the first time. Then it was hot cocoa when she caught him out during heavy rain. Then coffee early one morning when she had to help unload supplies and he was wandering around, head seemingly as foggy as their surroundings. All accompanied by doting parents, warm bakery goods, and the inability to get indignant at her stupid stray cat.

Now he had a key to the front door.


	2. Julerose: Style Swap - Ladrien: Cat Person - Marichat: Purring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has a way of making everything seem better, Adrien is a master of romance, and Marinette has had enough of everyone.
> 
>  
> 
> _At the time of publishing, the fandom is currently undergoing a two week protest called the **[ML Content Creator Blackout.](https://miraculousblackout.tumblr.com/info)** While I'm not participating, I do want to draw attention to it. Please be aware of how damaging art/fic theft can be and be respectful of creators: do not repost or use their work, and do not like or share fanwork posts that don’t seem to be by the original creator._
> 
>  
> 
> [Crossposted on Tumblr.](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/162740137758/)

### Julerose: Style Swap

Juleka tried to regulate her breathing. It wasn’t the stares from the other students that had her sweating— well, okay, maybe they were a part of it. Maybe a big part. Just not as much as the waiting for Rose to arrive. If she didn’t like it, she didn’t know what to do. Go back to what she always wore, she supposed. Go back to what she always wore, she supposed. Go back to trying to blend into the crowd, baggy clothes and all. Juleka swallowed hard and fiddled with the black lace on her new outfit.

Even out of the corner of her eye, it was easy to spot the bright, unapologetic pink of Rose’s dress, but when Juleka looked over, it was her eyes she caught first. Her big, blue, wide eyes. They locked gazes for what felt like forever, Juleka’s pulse pounding in her ears. Rose broke eye contact first to look her over, and she looked down, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

When she looked back up, she nearly jumped. Rose was nose to nose with her. Her pulse spiked impossibly higher, face hot and flushed. If she hadn’t learned with certainty that Rose didn’t have a mean bone in her body, Juleka would have sworn she was trying to kill her.

“Juleka,” she breathed. “You look...”

“Y-yeah?”

“Beautiful!” Rose squealed. “Ohmygosh, I could never pull that off, but you look so good!”

“Really? I mean, uh, I’m glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it!”

Juleka smiled, head bowed, as Rose continued to gush. Suddenly, thinking back on the stares, she thought maybe, just maybe, it was because they liked it too. The thought had been unimaginable just a moment before, but the way Rose reacted made her think it couldn’t be all bad.

 

### Ladrien: Cat Person

Okay. So. Maybe neither Adrien nor Ladybug has really thought this out. What does one do the first night of hanging out with the love of your life, after agreeing to make it a thing? What does one even say?

“So… Would you say you’re more of a dog person or a cat person?” Not that, Adrien thinks as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“Uhh, I can’t really say. Where I live, we can’t have either, so I’ve never given it much thought.”

“Right, right...”

The two look around at the expanse of Adrien’s large, very white, very pristine room.

“I guess you can’t have any either?”

“Heh, no, not really. Uh, father considers them dirty.”

“Okay, but your father aside,” Ladybug frowns, “How about you?”

“I’m definitely sort of a cat person,” Adrien laughs a little.

“Why do you say that?” She smiles.

If he dares to, he thinks there’s some fondness in that smile, when he looks closely. He then realizes that he’s looking closely and he’s made a pause in the conversation. Plus he can’t exactly say he was making an inside joke with himself about being Chat Noir. He scrambles for a response.

“Have you ever seen Grumpy Cat?”

Nailed it. Really killing it tonight, Adrien. An irresistible stud of a cat meme guru, that’s what you are.

“I’ve heard of him... Her? I’ve never really seen the photos, though. Well, maybe one or two.”

“Huh. You know, come to think of it, I’m not really sure if it’s a him or a her either,” Adrien says, pulling out his phone to look it up.

“Oh my gosh, so cute.” Suddenly, Ladybug’s voice is very close and her voice is very cute and Adrien can’t bring himself to look over at her. He does subconsciously sidle up a bit closer to her, switching to the images section. He does so subconsciously because nice boys just hanging out do not consciously lean into their crush while they’re distracted by moody looking cats.

As it turns out, looking at cat memes on your phone is a pretty good way to spend the first night of hanging out with the love of your life.

 

### Marichat: Purring

Coming home had a new element of mystery for Marinette these days. Would she or would she not find Chat Noir casually hanging out like he lived there?

It looked like a non-Chat evening tonight, which was just as well. Not that she didn’t like having him around, but he could be a lot to handle. After working on a school project all afternoon, she didn’t really have the energy for that.

It sounded like the fridge was acting up. Not the kitchen one, the industrial one. Odd that she could hear it from all the way in the stairwell and- it was getting louder? Maybe it was the kitchen one. Marinette realized what the real source was when she dropped her bag on the couch to hear the rumbling stop with a grunt. A short groan later, and it started up again.

She rounded the corner of her family’s wide sectional couch to find that yes, it was actually a Chat evening, but no, she wouldn’t have to wrangle a wisecracking rascal because he was sleeping on her couch. Purring. Loudly.

Marinette put her hands on her mouth to keep her laughter down to a giggle. He was laying flat on his back, her bag now wedged between his side and the back of the couch, mouth slightly open, rumbling with every rise and fall of his chest. It was sort of cute in that ‘urge to take pictures so they’ll be embarrassed later’ kind of way. She sat on the edge of the couch.

“Tikki! Tikki, look,” Marinette prodded her purse. The kwami peeked out.

“What is it, Marin- oh!” Tikki started giggling. “Looks like Chat’s even more tired than you are.”

“Ugh, yeah.” With the mention of it, Marinette felt her fatigue return. She slumped over to lay on the couch. Even with the slight distance the couch’s wideness afforded between her and Chat, she could feel the vibrations on the cushion. “I had no idea he purred. Do all Chats Noir do this?”

“Previous Black Cats? Hmm... You’d have to ask his kwami, but I think how much a hero acts like their animal depends on how well attuned they are. Your Chat must really like being in his Miraculous form.”

“Really? Huh. I wonder why that i-eee!” Marinette squealed as Chat rolled over, partially pinning her down. “Chat! Get off! How are you so heavy? You look like you’d weigh like, two grapes!”

She wriggled in futility as Tikki rolled in the air, laughing. Marinette glared at her. Or tried to. It probably didn’t really come off that way because, as it turns out, the purring was really soothing, and she was getting really sleepy.

She was just about to be lulled to sleep when, after a particularly loud, rumbling breath in, Chat exhaled deeply and stopped. Completely. She couldn’t even tell if he was plain breathing anymore.

Marinette froze.

“Chat?”

He lay still.

“Chat? Are- are you breathing? Are you dead? Did you die? Oh my god! Tikki, is he dead? Did my partner just die in his sleep on top of me?!”

Tikki looked just as dumbfounded, eyes wide.

Chat gave out what seemed like a huge sigh as he settled into the deep breaths of peaceful sleep. Marinette and Tikki themselves sighed in relief.

“You scared me, you jerk,” Marinette slapped his side with what freedom of movement her free arm had.

“Marinette?” Sabine called from down the stairs. “Is everything alright?”

Tikki zipped into Marinette’s purse. “Maman, help! Chat rolled over me in his sleep and now I’m trapped.”

“He what?” Sabine came into sight and started laughing loudly even before she could bring a hand up to muffle it. She couldn’t stop laughing.

“Maman! You’re not helping!” Sabine didn’t reply. She was laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. She held out her free hand, indicating to wait a moment, before moving out of sight. “Maman?”

She came back with her phone, pointing the camera at them. “Maman, no!”

 

 

Later, after the departure of a very refreshed, but embarrassed and apologetic Chat Noir, Marinette pouted at her mother over dinner. Without her even saying anything, Sabine replied, “I’m not deleting the photos.”

“Pleeease?”

“No way,” Tom interjected. “What if you end up with a superhero husband and we don’t have those to show at the wedding?”

“Papa!”

“It would be a shame,” Sabine nodded.

Marinette’s expression just turned even grumpier as she heard Tikki snicker in her purse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make these short, but I got carried away with the Marichat one because MY CAT DOES THAT TO ME. I ALWAYS GET TERRIFIED. EVERY TIME. I KNOW IT'S NOTHING, BUT I STILL GET SCARED. HE NEEDS TO STOP OR MY HEART WILL GIVE OUT. Also, I have this headcanon about the cat tendencies. SOMEONE TELL MY CAT TO STOP SCARING ME.


	3. Julerose: Miraculasona - Ladrien: God's Gift to Men/Women - Marichat: Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no better miraculous animal personality test than your girlfriend, and I once again end up having no chill with slow burn with the love square; I hope you like copious amounts of mutual admiration!

### Julerose: Miraculasona

The two were laying in the grass in a park near school during lunch, enjoying the rays of sun warming them. Rose was the one to break the silence, in an almost sleepy voice, “So Ladybug and Chat Noir are like our age, right? What if we were superheroes like them?”

“That’d be rad.”

“What do you think I’d be?”

“Dunno. You probably already have an idea. I bet you’ve taken a bunch of those personality tests online. Probably all of them.”

“… Yes.”

There were a few moments of silence.

Rose huffed. “Oh, hush, you.”

“Didn’t say anything.”

“I know you were laughing on the inside!” Rose rolled over to her side to wag her finger at a softly smiling, unaffected Juleka. She crossed her arms as she slumped over on her back again. “Anyway, I’m asking because what matters is what _you_ think!”

“Oh.”

More silence save for the light breeze and rustling of leaves. “Well?”

“I was thinking. … Red panda.”

“Red panda?”

“I couldn’t think of any pink animals. Red is close. Everyone loves red pandas. They’re cute.”

“Aww! I love it. You’re… you’re a...”

“Make me something cool.”

“A wolf! With black fur. They’re quiet, and hard to find, but really loyal and nice with their pack! I’ve seen these videos of wolves that were raised by humans seeing them again and oh my gosh, it’s so cute! They’re so affectionate! I mean, they’re huge, I had no idea how big they were compared to people, so it’s still a little spooky, but still! Cute!”

Juleka nodded. “Rad.”

### Ladrien: God’s Gift to Men/Women

When Ladybug had swung in, she did so with a groan and such fatigue in her body, Adrien rushed over to steady her. “What’s wrong? There wasn’t an akuma attack today.”

Ladybug didn’t need any steadying from the start, but relaxed into his arms anyway. “Worse. Press conference.”

“Ah. Right, uh, Chat couldn’t be there, huh?” Adrien asked. He couldn’t avoid it, his schedule had been packed that day. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Yeah. It’s alright, I know he’d be there if he could.” She said with a small laugh. “If he could, he’d probably figure out some way to be around me without the suit too.”

He laughed along, partially out of relief, and partially because she had no idea. “Come on, you probably want to sit down.”

Honestly, she’d rather stay there where there was physical contact, but she _was_ tired. Tired enough to flop onto his couch and just sprawl out. He joined her, much more gracefully, head leaning on a hand where his arm rested, flexed on the back of the couch. He looked like one of his magazine spreads. Ladybug scrambled up, running her hands over her windswept hair in some attempt to tame it. She was keenly aware he was just _looking_ the entire time.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he said softly.

She stopped. “Huh?”

“Not- not that you don’t always look beautiful!” His hand shot to the back of his neck as he blushed and looked away. “Sorry, that was probably weird.”

“No, not at all!” She waved her hands frantically face burning. Ladybug was very grateful they left the lights dim on these nights to avoid suspicion. “I- Thanks. Thank you.”

“Oh, no, of course, I mean thank you! It’s always really cool to have you here. You’re,” He laughed a little breathlessly. “You’re Ladybug. You’re miraculous. The title, you know, it- it really fits you, like you were heaven sent, except… You’re human like the rest of us. That just makes it so much more amazing, all the things you do.”

Adrien looked back to her, a shy little smile tugging at one side of his mouth, soft green eyes shining even in the dark.

Once Ladybug remembered that breathing was a basic human function that yes, she needed to perform, suited up or not, she managed a, “I could say the same about you.”

“Wh-what?”

“You know,” she gestured vaguely in the direction of his innumerable trophies. “Plus the modeling, and Everything else. I, uh, hope I’m not overstepping here, you’ve never really spoken about it directly, but you seem to have it pretty rough just… generally, life-wise. Still, here you are, spending your downtime with me while I mope. I know it hasn’t been long, just a few weeks, but it doesn’t take long to see how kind and sincere you are. You’re like, an angel.”

Ladybug sighed, her usual post-Adrien gushing swoon kicking in to make her slump over, head on his shoulder.

It took a moment for her to realize _her head_ was on _Adrien’s shoulder._ _S_ he froze, wide eyed. Her blood rushed in her ears feeling his warm, solid body against her. He cleared his throat. Her pulse only quickened when she heard the rustling of his arm on the fabric of the couch, sure that he would gently push her off.

Instead, his arm slowly came to rest around her shoulders, hand even squeezing gently. She ventured to bury her head deeper into him, and he responded only by wrapping his arm around her tighter and placing her chin on her head.

It made her feel… safe. Like he was doing his damnedest to shield her from all the troubles they shared, big and small. It was so him.

“Adrien,” she gently chided. “Relax.”

She felt his chest rise with a deep breath then fall as he let his tension go, arm around her and head on hers coming to rest.

“Thanks,” he said, the unspoken part having become unnecessary between them. _‘For understanding.’_

They stayed like that for the rest of the night.

### Marichat: Homework

“Well, you have to do _something_ to earn your keep around here,” Marinette turned to look down Chat with a quirk of the brow and smile. She was halfway up the stairs to her room.

“Yowch,” Chat responded though he grinned, himself. “Being one of the saviours of Paris isn’t enough?”

“Nope.” _Believe me, that doesn’t save you from chores around here._ “Besides, who better than the mighty Chat Noir to help me move furniture?”

“Well, you have me there, Mari,” he said, flexing his arms as he stretched his back. She couldn’t help but giggle. “Flattery will get you everywhere, but you and I both know you don’t need me for that.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, easily swinging her attic door, a door that came to rest with a heavy thud.

The brows of Chat’s mask slowly made a climb skywards. One arm crossed, he pointed with the other. “Well, there’s stuff like that. Then there’s the time you thought a deliveryman was a robber and actually _threw me at him_.”

“Well, who delivers that late?! Anyway, protecting the place is another way you can earn your keep, Monsieur Saviour Of Paris,” Marinette said, hands on her hip as she stepped aside to let Chat up.

“True, I am, as always your faithful knight here to protect the princess,” he said, taking her hand to bend over and kiss her knuckles.

Marinette bit her bottom lip to keep from pulling away, laughing, or both. “Why does that sound so familiar?”

“Evillustrator, remember? Accompanying you to the ball.”

“I appreciate it, but neither lazing around home nor redecorating are exactly a ball,” she pulled her hand gently out of his once his show of… Chatness ended.

“Why, every night with you is a ball, Mar- oh. Oh, wow.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Marinette had completely forgotten to take down all the pictures of Adrien. She braced herself for merciless teasing.

Chat just stood there, staring.

Marinette frantically began taking the posters and torn out magazine pages down, “I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”

“So… It’s not that you find m-Monsieur Adrien Agreste ridiculously attractive?” Chat asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“No! Well, yes! I- don’t judge!” She held her stack of Adriens close to her to keep them from falling, face burning, as she jabbed a finger at him. “It’s not- I’m not just some creepy fangirl obsessed with his looks, okay?”

That bought a curious look. “So what else could it be?”

She sighed, slumping as she put her pile down on her desk and smiled, eyes glazing over as lovestruck mode kicked into gear. “He’s really nice, and supportive, and a true gentleman. That’s really rare these days. Oh, he’s a classmate of mine. We kind of, uh, got off on the wrong foot, and I can be stubborn about fights, but he went out of his way to apologize and explain himself. He was just so sincere, and honest, and let himself be so vulnerable to me- gosh, I could never do what he did that day, especially with someone who was mad with me. Ever since, I- I’ve been kind of crazy about him.”

His eyes just tracked her animated movements as he struggled to process her words.

“I mean, I can’t even talk to him properly unless we’re working on something,” she laughed. “I started stuttering just saying goodbye right after that moment, and… And then I went home, and I looked at all these pictures of him and interviews I just glossed over before. I was never interested in the models before, just the designs and designers. Oh, just look at this one, he talks about how his favourite part of the job is the philanthropy work!”

Chat was dumbstruck as she leafed through the papers to find and hand the page over. He took it, silent and slack-jawed, then made a show of reading it. He _remembered_ that interview, it was months ago. She remembered? It was lucky that he did, he doubted he’d be able to focus on reading anything right now. “… Youth shelters, huh?”

“Uh-huh! Most people wouldn’t think of it, but they’re super important. Not that animal shelters or children’s hospitals aren’t, of course, but… He’s so thoughtful,” she sighed.

Chat felt his eyes sting, unable to look up until he blinked the feeling away. When he did look up to meet Marinette’s eyes, it was incredibly difficult not averting his gaze again. The trademark Chat grin that usually came to him so naturally in this form failed him. Instead, he smiled gently and was soft-spoken as he said, “Do you mind if I keep calling you princess?”

She seemed taken aback.

“Oh, well… I suppose not.” She smiled back and shrugged, “Anyone else, I’d tell to shove off and don’t be patronizing, but what can I say? You’ve grown on me, Chat. Why though?”

“’Cause you really are royalty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are unedited and I might even have past/present tense mistakes in there, I just need to start getting these out again. Oh, and as much as I love the Chat calling Marinette "Princess" trope, I feel like it should have more precedent than the one time, so I established that here... I'm love square trash and generally don't care at all, though~
> 
> I'll Tumblr crosspost when it's not 3AM. Maybe. Also:  
> Me: _[looks at August Fluff Month]_  
>  Me: hoe don't do it  
> Me: _[vibrates, making noise at pitch only dogs can hear]_
> 
> PS note that this was written shortly before the zagspoilers from SDCC2k17's script reading, so I was not aware of the literally unbelievable density of a certain character


	4. Julerose: Coffee Shop AU - Ladrien: Your Face is Too Distracting - Marichat: Fashion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juleka is extremely relatable, and I have to give shoutouts to greenstickynotes for planting the idea of her making bird sweaters in my head.  
> Adrien enjoys a night out with Ladybug, or would, except his face keeps making it impossible.  
> Chat Noir has way too much fun with his newly accepted nickname for Marinette.

### Julerose: Coffee Shop AU

Juleka was a creature of habit. Her co-workers were the sole reason she knew any restaurants outside of walking distance from her apartment, and it was mostly why she always went to C’est La Vie for lunch. She had a table there. As in it was basically her table, she never had to worry about it being taken. It was in the corner, where she could people watch from the window, it was warm and sunny, but the afternoon light wasn’t too harsh. Also, she always got the same waitress.

Rose, as she had come to know from reading the server line on the receipts, had glided over before she could look up. Of course, she didn’t see her come over, but she always made her way to the table in what Juleka could only think of as gliding, with all the grace of a songbird.

“Good afternoon, Juleka!” She chirped.

_(Juleka wondered if this metaphor getting out of hand.)_

“Good afternoon, Rose.”

_(Juleka realized that, while Rose had once asked for her name because she liked to know regulars, Juleka had never asked her.)_

While she wondered if Rose wondered about this and thought Juleka was some sort of creeper, she already had her notepad and pen out. “Croque monsieur with onion soup, and a cappucino afterward, right?”

“Yeah.”

( _Oh my god, she knew her by name and order,_ _Juleka_ _thought. Now_ _she_ _could never come back._ _)_

“Right away!” Rose beamed.

Rose, whose smiles always felt like the warmth and gentle light of Juleka’s corner, knew her by name and order. She waited until she disappeared from view to bury her face in her hand and try not to overthink it. Instead, she thought about how her shifts had changed, that she agreed to cover for Emil tomorrow so she was working night. That meant she had the day to do whatever she wanted. Oh right, Camille was going to visit her family in the province for the holidays. Juleka was planning to make sweaters for the chickens. She had to do laundry, but could get started on that afterward, while she got around to watching A Monster In Paris.

The gentle thumps of dishes being set down broke her out of her train of thought. Rose cocked her head at her, as cheery as ever, and said, “Enjoy your meal.”

“Thanks,” Juleka said as she turned to leave, “You too.”

_(She could never come back.)_

A thought that waned, just a little, as she took her first bite of her sandwich and first spoonful of soup.

When she finished her meal, Rose set down her cappucino before taking the empty dishes away, already prepared, and with three sugar cubes on the saucer- the exact amount Juleka always stirred in. As she brought it closer to drink, she looked at the heart in the foam of her coffee. She once again put her face in one hand.

 _(_ _Why is she so cute I can’t handle this I’m a_ ~~_good_ ~~ _decent person I don’t deserve this._ _)_

Juleka occupied her mind with chicken sweater plans as she finished her coffee. Once she got her receipt, she stared at Rose’s name in the “Server: ” line. It was a shame, the food and coffee here was so good too. She gulped. Well, if she was never planning to come back again anyway… She turned the receipt over and wrote her name and phone number. Then added “text me,” because, on the off chance that she did get a response, she would not be able to handle a verbal conversation, good or bad, at all.

Using putting on her coat and bag again as she got up as a guise, Juleka kept her eyes averted as Rose took the bill and empty coffee away. Walking out of the restaurant faster than usual, she stole a glance at Rose once last time. She was frozen, her hand on a cheek as she looked at the back of the receipt, eyes wide with delight and a huge grin on her face. Another waitress peered over her shoulder with a smirk and said something Juleka couldn’t hear clearly, but might have been, “Finally.”

When Rose and the other waitress looked up at Juleka, it very suddenly dawned on her that: 1. She was also standing in place and 2. Her jacket was way too warm. “Um. So, uh, bye?”

“Bye, see you tomorrow!” Rose said, still grinning ear to ear.

“Yeah. Seeya,” Juleka grinned back. She exited, the cafe door’s bell clinking. Her phone buzzed, Seeing a text from a new number.

‘ _hi, this is rose :) have a good day!’_

Oh Juleka was definitely coming back tomorrow. The chicken sweaters would have to wait.

 

* * *

### Ladrien: “Sorry I wasn’t paying attention because your face is too distracting.”

It’s a hot summer night, and being in Adrien’s room on any night is already stifling in several ways. One of them, possibly the only positive one, is the constant feeling of being just a bit too warm in a way that had nothing to do with the weather. As it turns out, being absolutely alone in a bedroom with someone you’re madly in love with will do that.

Adrien had certainly felt very, very warm as he held on to Ladybug. Swinging through the thin air of Paris felt different from vaulting around on his baton, and he did not have the supersuit to protect him if he fell or crashed into something. Something which, frankly, he had come to expect by now. Initially, that had made him feel heart pounding terror. So he held on tight. Luckily, she didn’t seem to mind. At some point, he didn’t know when, he began to focus on her. Her scent was a bit floral, herby, and more than a bit like warm bread. The strength of her arm around him and her solid body under his grip kept him feeling secure enough even during the freefall between hooking onto anchors. His heart had only pounded against his chest harder. This time, with all terror dispelled. He could feel and hear his pulse in his ears. Adrien buried his face in her, thankful that even if Ladybug weren’t too preoccupied to look at him, she wouldn’t see his face as bright red as her suit.

Now, sitting on a rooftop, warm breeze ruffling his clothes, he still feels the prickling at the back of his neck and beads of sweat on his forehead. The height isn’t the reason why he’s nervous. He much prefers this to his room, really. There’s a sort of familiarity of being up somewhere like this with her that affords him some comfort.

The thing is, she isn’t paying attention to what he’s saying. Is he being boring? What should he say? Maybe he should let her speak. He never tires of listening to her. “So, what do you think, Ladybug?”

“Huh? What? Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention because your face is too distracting.”

He’s not sure to say to that. He’s slightly slack-jawed as he stares.

“Not- not your _face_ face!” She gestures at his face. “Which isn’t to say, it’s not distracting either, because it is. I mean, I could look at it forever, who wouldn’t? Not in a creepy way, just-”

She takes a deep breath and points to the space behind him.

Still stunned, Adrien turns around to see a billboard. Of him. From the street, it’s not too bad, but from up here, it is absolutely _huge_. He laughs weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right, um… that must be awkward. Switch places?”

They do. It doesn’t help. Now he keeps looking at it. She smirks, “See, your face _is_ distracting.”

He smiles sheepishly. “It kind of is, when it’s that enlarged.”

“Hmm, I don’t think it has to be to catch attention, actually.” He chokes at her words. Her fond smile does not help. “Okay, sit… to the side?”

Now they just keep glancing sideways. They make eye contact after one time they both had just side-eyed it. Then they laugh as billboard Adrien does not side-eye them, but simply looks dreamily to some point in the distance, slightly above him. (Real) Adrien coughs into a fist, blushing. “You want to know what I was thinking of when they took that photo?”

“Hmm… A really good sandwich?”

He chuckles. “You, actually.”

“Oh.” She flushes, and looks a little to the side. He can’t help but feel a little satisfied, and smiles. “Well, maybe I can get the same effect.”

Ladybug quickly turns her head to look off into the distance, starry-eyed, with a look of dreamy wonder. His cheeks hurt from smiling at this point, but he can’t help it.

“Well? Am I doing it?”

“Nailed it. That must be one really good sandwich.”

“I was thinking of you,” she admits, scratching her cheek with a finger.

“Oh.” He sort of can’t handle how adorable she is and really can’t handle the fact that she said that.

“Anyway! You want to find another, less billboard-y roof?”

“Absolutely,” he sighs as he gets up. He does give billboard Adrien one last look and mentally high fives him. Despite the awkwardness, he did get a very good moment out of it all. Plus, as Ladybug approaches him, ducking to let him throw an arm around his neck, he’s really looking forward to getting to hold her again as the wind carries them through the night. He always loved the feeling of free falling through the air. He never thought anything could be better. Now he knows everything’s better when it’s with her.

 

* * *

### Marichat: Fashion

“Princess!” Chat’s yell floated up to Marinette’s room through her open trap door, as she heard his scrambling from all the way through the living room below. She turned in her chair just in time to see him skidding on his boots and claws at the top of her stairs.

“You’ve really taken to that nickname already, haven’t you?” She snickered as he came to a stop just before hitting her vanity. He just grinned wide at her in response. She pointed. “What do you have in your mouth?”

“A shopping bag,” he responded after moving said bag into one hand like a normal person.

She rolled her eyes fondly. “I could see that. I meant what’s _in_ the shopping bag?”

His eyes sparkled with mischief and barely contained laughter. “Okay, you ready for this?”

“I guess?”

Chat stood with a deep breath, cricking his neck in either direction and rolling his shoulders slowly in what she supposed was build-up to the main event. He grabbed the bag’s contents with one hand, and flicked the bag down onto the floor with the other, bowing as the pants he held aloft unfurled. “A gift, for you.”

She burst into laughter even as she put her legs up on her chair and buried her face in her hands. “Chat, _no_.”

“Chat, yes!” He laughed along.

“I cannot believe,” she could barely say, on the verge of tears with her laughter. “You come into my house with that- that thing.”

Marinette parted her fingers enough to see the black form fitting yoga pants with _**≈** _ _**PRINCESS** _ _**≈** _ on the ass in big pink sparkles. She started laughing again. There were tears in her eyes. She began to get a hold of herself and she lowered her hands from her face when she felt the cool fabric hit her knees.

“You have to model them for me,” Chat said matter of factly.

“No, I don’t.”

“Okay, you don’t _have_ to, but please?”

“No way!”

He fell to his knees and looked up at her with hands clasped. “Pleeeease?”

“I can’t believe you’re using the kitten eyes on me,” Marinette crossed her arms, pouting, and looked away.

He just shuffled over to her range of vision on his knees. “Please?”

“No,” she turned her head again.

“Mari, pleeeeeease, it’s going to be hilarious,” he shuffled again.

She glared down at him, fully intending to get into a staring contest until he gave up. It backfired. Damn the kitten eyes. She threw her hands up in the air. “Fine!”

She grumbled at his thousand watt smile and stomped down her stairs to change in the bathroom as he called over, “Do the catwalk when you come back!”

Once she was climbing her stairs again, now bedecked in _**≈**_ _ **PRINCESS**_ _ **≈**_ yoga pants, she had to admit… They were comfortable and, judging from the look over her back she took in the mirror? They made her ass look _fantastic_. Maybe she would wear them around the house, at least.

Chat stared for a moment from where he had made himself at home on her chaise (honestly, let him someplace just _once_ and he’d claim it). Then he put a fist over his mouth with a prolonged snort.

“You can laugh, you know.”

He began howling with laughter.

Marinette made her way over to sock him on the arm, but started chuckling. She stood beside the chaise with one hand on her hip, the other rubbing her temple. “I cannot _believe_.”

He seemed to try and stop laughing, which only resulted in him shutting his eyes tight, alternating between snorting and squeaking. “You okay there, buddy?”

He nodded, still snort-squeaking, and clapped like a seal. Okay, it was pretty hilarious. Honestly, she was getting into it too. “Hey, Chat. Chat, look.”

She waited until he began regulating his breathing again and wiped the tears from his face with deep breaths. She strutted to the other end of her room, then turned her head, untied hair swishing as she did, and looked over her shoulder to give him the fiercest pout she could.

“Princess!” He barely managed to yowl out the word fully, seal clapping, before once again breaking into howling laughter. He clutched his sides as he fell off her chaise.

She strutted back over right in front of him and struck a pose, putting one hand on a cocked hip and her other behind her head, chin held high. “Excuse you, I am a _Queen._ ”

Chat looked up, still in hysterics, and waved his hand at her a few times. “Not- according-” he struggled to squeak out, “to- to your pants.”

Marinette collapsed to sit beside his rolling form on the ground to give in her own laughter. They continued in fits and starts for who knew how long. When they finally calmed down and wiped tears from their eyes, she shook her head. “You realize I’m never wearing these outside.”

“Oh? Hmmmm,” whether it intentional or because his throat was raw, she didn’t know, but his voice came out in a low, raspy purr as he leaned in. “Does that mean only I get to see you in them?”

She snorted and pushed him back by the nose. “No, catsanova, it means they’re getting relegated to house and laundry pants.”

“Aw, Mari, no! They’re special, a royal gift from me to you. Can’t you cut me some _slacks_?”

“More like a royal pain in the ass,” she nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. “I will cut you some slacks, though.”

He cocked his head at her curiously.

A few nights later, Chat spent the entire evening wearing his own, handmade, green sparkled  _**♦KNIGHT-MARE♦** _ yoga pants over his suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matching yoga pants for you and your cat.
> 
> I ended up [cross-posting the Marichat one to Tumblr](http://booabug.tumblr.com/post/163438834593/) because, while I'm trying to broaden my horizons, I still love my stupidest crap the most.


	5. Tangent: Yoga Pants Sleepover Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Tumblr, @inknpaperlove tagged my fic post with  
> #now I kinda want a reveal where there's a sleepover and they both bring their pants over as by accident  
> and? I loved that? So I started what was meant to be a really quick and silly drabble, but everything spiraled out of control. They’re aged up here because I am completely incapable of doing anything mildly suggestive with our precious children. This is, I guess, an AU of an AU. Plus I misremembered the prompt as I was writing it so, uh...  
>  _*puts this down and backs slowly away*_
> 
>  **Teen** for alcohol use, suggestive themes, and copious amounts of swearing.

“Hey Alya, do you know where the paper bag from the takeout is?” Marinette asked in a monotone.

Alya gave her a strange look. “Are you alright?”

“Mmhmm! Great! Couldn’t be better! Everything’s correctomundo, normalado, perfecta over here!” Marinette pointed at herself with both thumbs.

“Right...” Alya said slowly, moving to the kitchen without looking away from her best friend’s all too familiar This Is Fine™ grin. From where she searched in Nino’s kitchen/dining room, she called over, “Girl, I don’t believe you for a second, and if you don’t wanna talk about it? Fine, but you know you can always talk to me.”

Marinette accepted the paper bag gratefully. She rubbed one arm with the other. “Yeah. You’re seriously the best friend ever, and I would if I could, but I can’t talk about this even with you. Why don’t you get back to the sleep-over? Someone might pick Yoshi before you.”

“Unacceptable!” Alya jogged over to the living room, soft cotton pajamas fluttering behind her. Oh Alya, you beautiful living perfume/shampoo/conditioner commercial. Marinette knew many esoteric secrets of Paris. How Alya’s hair was always on point was not one of them, no matter how she tried. Marinette watched as she sidestepped Alix and squeezed her way past Ivan to plop down beside Nino on the couch. Then couldn’t help but look over at Adrien, leaning over the back of the couch over their shoulders, wineglass in hand, looking like he’d be perfectly at home in Alya’s commercial. Especially with how his pose showed off his backside, where… _No! Drunkinette, do not take the wheel!_

It was then Adrien looked over and winked at her. Which wasn’t unusual. He did wink a lot. Just usually not with that grin. Mercy, that grin on that face. Marinette waved weakly and poured her own wine down her suddenly parched throat. She then slammed the glass down on the counter, marched over to the hallway, and began hyperventilating into her paper bag before she even reached the bathroom.

Once she had reached said haven of privacy, she grabbed a fluffy, folded towel and began to scream in it. Several times. Then she splashed her face with cold water, before screaming some more. _It’ll be fine,_ _she_ _thought_. _A sleep-over at Nino’s? Ideal. Neutral ground,_ _she_ _thought_ _. One night without scheming from herself and Alya, just relaxing with_ _old_ _friends, including Adrien who would also be relaxed. Everything would be chill, she would be chill, she could talk to Adrien and be totally chill,_ _she thought_ _._

Marinette had not counted on just how chill Adrien was around Nino, or that he didn’t know how to hold his liquor. Or that, when everyone changed into more comfortable clothes, he would come out chuckling to the others’ laughter in yoga pants with ♦ _ **KNIGHT-MARE♦**_ sparkling across his ass in green.

She should have known that one day, Adrien’s ass would be her downfall.

Chat Noir’s ass.

She had learned a lot that night, and not just about the asses of the two most important boys in her life who was actually one boy, which both made things much simpler and much more complicated.

Lesson 1: Adrien, comfortable in his best friend’s house, and rip roaringly drunk, did not have chill. Much like how Chat Noir, anywhere, completely sober, had no chill.

Lesson 2: Drunkdrien was a gigantic flirt, much like original flavour Chat Noir was a gigantic flirt.

Lesson 3: Chat Noir, was not, in fact, a gigantic flirt with everyone, as she could have only assumed from her previous sample size of only herself and Ladybug, who was also her, but he didn’t know that. The entire night, Adriwine had been making silly, all too familiar advances on Marinette. Only Marinette. Most of the old class from his first year at school were there, as well as new acquaintances. He cracked jokes with them, but nothing remotely provocative.

Lesson 4: Marinette could very well handle Chat Noir’s flirting. Adrinoir’s flirting made her guzzle cold water to keep from spontaneous human combustion.

Marinette thoroughly rinsed her face with cold water again and shook her head vigorously. In the mirror, she looked as much of a mess as she felt, wet hair clinging to her face, flyaway locks, ties loose. There was little chance that those pants were made by anyone else, but she wouldn’t know for sure unless she looked for her initials on the inside of the waist hem.

The hem. The hem currently clinging to Adrien’s waist. And also Chat’s waist. Marinette rested her elbows on the sides of the sink and put her head in her hands. _What was her life?_

A soft rapping at the door made her start with a squeak. Right, she had been there for an inordinately long time. She couldn’t hide from Chadrien forever. She opened the door.

Adrien was on the other side. As soon as he saw her, his lip began to curl into a smir- NOPE. Marinette slammed the door in his face and leaned against the door, chest heaving. Apparently she couldn’t hide from Adrinoir for a matter of mere minutes.

“Aw nooo,” she heard a plaintive whine she was used to hearing at home from the other side. “Mari, I really need to go.”

Marinette took a deep breath. Then in one swift motion, she opened the door, grabbed Adrien by the shirt, spun them both, pushed him into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut again from outside. She winced as she heard him fall on his fantastic, glittering ♦ _ **KNIGHT-MARE♦**_ ass. “Sorry!”

“’Scool, you can manhandle me any time!” He called back then barked a laugh.

 _Fuck._ Marinette buried her burning face in her hands and paced back and forth in the hall. Okay. Alright. No. No, Adrien could not be Chat Noir. That would be a very, very big problem. Adrien _could_ just be a flirty drunk who was most comfortable with her out of everyone. After all, they were the friendliest with each other, save for Alya, but, you know, bro code. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere out there, a designer of trashy yoga pants got the same idea from the Darkblade attack.

Holy crap. The Darkblade attack. Adrien made the exact same pun, with full Chat Noir flair.

Damn it, she was going crazy. One moment of mortification was worth it to put her mind at ease. She heard a flush and the running of water from the sink. Okay, she had like, a minute while he washed his hands and dried them. She stopped in front of the door, tapping her foot.

The door opened.

Marinette stared. Adrien smirked again. Marinette gulped. “Well, hey,” he began, “Couldn’t go a few min-”

“I need to see inside your pants.”

Adrien stopped, expression going slack as he blinked owlishy at her.

_Damn it, Drunkinette, what did I tell you?!_

“Okay.” He began pulling down his pants.

“NO!” Marinette yelled, grabbing his hands and pulling them back up sharply. He yelped as the pants were hiked up full force, only stopped by a certain area of his body. Which Marinette did not think about, did not, not think about. “Nonononononono, just-just the hem.”

Slowly, delicately, looking out of one squinting eye, she pulled the hem backward. MDC. Right there in gold thread. Marinette looked at her signature, up at grinning Drunkdrien, down at her initals, up at Adrisloshed.

“Bye.”

She walked away quickly, restraining herself from full sprint. He stumble-stalked after her like a shadow. “Ah, Mari, wait! I do somethin bad? ‘Msorry!”

“Do did you- Did you-!” Marinette whirled, stopping him straight in his tracks. “You!”

“Me?” She could practically see the droopy ears as he hunched.

“MMMNNNNGH,” she articulated her frustration, grabbing the back of his collar and dragging him to the bedroom farthest from where everyone else was.

“Whoaaa, furrwarrd. _Like_ it.”

Was that a pun or slurring? Wait, whatever. “Shut up!”

“Sorry!”

She threw him onto the bed and closed the door, locking it. When she turned, Chatrinoirien had already placed himself into a position on his side, huge smirk on his face, eyebrows waggling as he supported his head on one hand, totally flexing his arm. He opened his mouth.

“Don’t.”

He motioned zipping his lips.

“Look, I know you were already pretty drunk when everyone changed, and with my schedule, I was a ‘maybe’ until last minute, but you-”

He looked like he was trying to listen, he really was, but his eyes were heavy lidded. Still, he kept his gaze on her as he rolled onto his back to arch into a lethargic, full body stretch that drew out a long, deep groan and hiked his shirt up enough for her to glimpse-

“Oh my God! Stop! You need to stop!” It was _really_ har- DIFFICULT- difficult to deliver a lecture when he was- doing things that did things to her.

“Stah whuh?”

“That!” She motioned at his entirety.

“I dun understan.”

“Chat!” Marinette finally cried out, throwing her hands in the air. At this point she just didn’t care.

Adrien sat bolt upright, staring at her with wide eyes. Wide, vibrant, intensely familiar green eyes. A black mask and green sclera could obscure those minute things that made everyone’s eyes unique. Fool anyone who didn’t know them like a well loved book. “I- I don’t- why did you call me that?”

“Because!” It could fool anyone but his partner and the girl who’d been pining after him for so long. “Knight-mare? Pants? Princess! Princess pants! Knight-mare pants! My signature! In your pants!”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhholy shit. HOLY SHIT. FUCK.” Adrien put his hands in his hair, ruffling it with frantic movements.

“GODDAMN!” Marinette agreed, stomping as she watched him turn perfectly groomed Adrien hair to wild, messy Chat hair. “FUCKING HELL.”

“Nooooo,” Adriatrinoir drew out as he rose to his feet. A step. Two. Then frantic pacing. “NO! SHIT! I FUCKING- I’M-”

He punched himself in the jaw.

“NO! NO PUNCH!” Marinette rushed over to grab his arm before he could punch himself more. He got in a couple more jabs before she got to him.

“YES PUNCH!” He simply switched to his other hand.

Marinette had to pin both arms behind his back. “NO! THIS IS FUCKED UP! SUPER FUCKED UP! WE DON’T NEED YOU FUCKING YOURSELF UP!”

“I DESERVE IT! I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP SO BAD, I-” He slumped, barely keeping himself standing. He sounded on the verge of tears as he whined, “You’re in danger. ‘Cause I fucked up.”

He began to turn, and Marinette let him, releasing his arms. He leaned his forehead on hers. The look in his eyes was suddenly far, _far_ more sober, and teary. “You could get hurt. I- akuma effects happen to me all the time, what if? What if they hurt you? ‘Cause of me. Oh my God. What if _I_ hurt you? They could make me.”

“Chat… Adrien,” she cradled his head in her hands, trying to ignore her heart beating out of her chest. In as calming a voice as she could manage, she slowly said, “That’s not going to happen, okay? Trust me. Besides, I’m always in danger. I could get hit by a car just crossing the road. I could get caught in an akuma attack, whether or not you’re involved. Hell, you know me, I could crack my head open falling down the stairs.”

“Okay...” He said. “Not really helping...”

“Right. Sorry, I just- I don’t want you to worry about me, you-”

“NOT WORRY?!” She startled. “SHIT. Shit. Sorry. I yelled. I didn’t mean to, I just. Oh my God. _My God._ ”

Suddenly, Marinette’s face was buried in Adrien’s chest as he wrapped himself around her, cheek pressing into her hair, arms squeezing tight. He muttered, “Of course I worry. I worry- worried already. I’ll worry like crazy now. You mean so, so much to me. I can’t even- I don’t know if it’s purely friends, or romance, or some crazy mix, but I just- as much as I will always be in love with my Lady, you, Princess… You, I love so, so much, any which way. I can’t imagine life without you.”

Marinette felt Adrien’s shirt wet around her eyes. She didn’t know when she started crying, or when she stopped breathing. Her arms dangled limp at her sides. _Fuck it. Drunkinette, give me strength._

She took a deep breath, and moved her hands up to grasp Adrien’s shoulders from behind. She had to practically push her way. He was unwilling to make himself any less of a human shield around her.

“Oh, _mon chaton,”_ As close as they were, she felt more than heard his breath hitch. She pulled back with a weak smile. Looking into his eyes, she said, “What a mess we’ve gotten ourselves into. Just remember, we’ve gotten each other into plenty of danger already. We’ve always made it through, and we always will. Don’t worry, I can take care of myself, and even when I can’t, I have the best partner anyone could ever ask for by my side.”

He stared, dumbstruck. She scratched under his chin. “My partner is kind of always at 12 though, and when you’re my friend I’ve had a massive crush on for years, I’m gonna need you to tone it down to like, a 7.”

A jubilant grin slowly spread across Adrien’s face.

“9,” he bargained.

“7.5, final offer,” she smirked and winked.

Breathless, he nodded slowly and wheezed out, “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Anything for my Lady.”

 _Absolutely fuck it. Drunkinette, take the wheel._ Marinette began pulling Adrien down into a kiss. She swore she could just see the smirk on his face and the way he tilted his head just so as she did. Leaning up, it occurred to her that he too must have been dreaming about this moment for a long, long time.

Though grabbing his firm, sparkly ass and giggling into each other was a spur of the moment thing.

* * *

From where they were washing up, Nino kept looking over his shoulder down the hallway. “That’s my parents’ room, you know.”

“I know,” Alya nudged her side into his. “You’ve said that about 5 times already.”

“My bad. I just don’t know what I want more. Stop them from doing whatever they’re doing in my parents room? Or avoid finding out what they’re doing in there altogether.”

“Alright this isn’t my place, I’m Mari’s wingman for life, I’m biased, I know, but good _lord_ the sexual tension tonight. Whatever it takes to resolve that, I’m for it.”

“Yeah, well… I guess at least they quieted down.”

Faintly, they heard Marinette squeal with an, “Adrien!” Followed by a loud, exaggerated growling noise over her laughter.

Nino looked skywards and sighed. “Not wanting to know wins out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way too much fun with this, though maybe I should post it as a work outside of this one because, uh... really out of place with everything else, plus different rating.


End file.
